K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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