I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
