Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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