brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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