Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
