I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
