I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
