just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize