"it" just moved
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
