I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize