You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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