apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
