fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
