he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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