You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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