and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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