Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
