I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize