You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
