8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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