This girl is more easily done than said...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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