plz talk dirty to me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
