I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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