why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize