WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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