Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
