thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
