A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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