2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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