NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize