He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
