his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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