in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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