First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
