I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
