I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
