Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
