If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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