I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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