I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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