Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
