why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
