I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
