Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
