So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize