i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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