A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
accomplished twins. life is a go
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
