Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
