My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
