Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
