Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
