Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
