WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
