he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
