Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize