Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
