fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
