i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize