I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
