God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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